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Disappear.Why dont you just disappear... Useless brother...
Die off, shift off, fuck off or whatever just disappear...
I dont need such brother... Such sibling... Pest...
Just a good for nothing but problems...
Tonight i am so fucking pissed...
I guess it aint ma thing no more.Hehe guess i am just better off alone at home..
Mois is kinda bored and suck.. Even the music is like duh..
Same music over and over again.. Or just snatch other's stuff..
Aint nothing original.. Cheapy.. I need to be a get a job as DJ..
To show em' the real thing.. Dont ya people get bored..
I mean listening the same stuffs all the time..
The music aint very cool after all..
Jesus fuck i got better music at home..
Well anyway think i have decided..
I will just live as a gamer..
Outdoor life aint ma type.. No more.. Piti.. ful..I pity...
The human being in this world...
But maybe they are not human after all...
Imposter... Fakers... Cruel intentions...
Or maybe thats how a world should be?
Girls... Guys... They are all the same...
Why do they waste their life?
Why the girls wasting their life acting like a slut? a bitch?
While the guys clinging to bring the girl home and...
The clubbing zone aint much of a clubbing zone now...
Its kind of like a whore zone... Especially with the youngster these days...
Does they ever thought about their parents? Maybe... or not?
Or maybe this is their parent's fault? Well its possible...
Everything a person do... Could make a difference...
Every little single thing... Every action... Every second...
Does make a different...
Sometimes i see... Why some parents never care about their own child?
Why some foster parents dont care... The child they took in...
Why do you wanna have child when you dont even have the heart to care about them?
Why the hell on earth did you took in a child when you dont even care about them?
Can you call yourself a Father? Mother? Parents?
There are many excuse aint it?
Work hard to earn money for their child? All they do is work work work...
They dont even bother to understand their children...
Just giving the child money as love... Giving them what they want...
Just like feeding them with drugs... But do they really understand their own kid?
Go out day night... comes back early morning... Some not even home...
Do they know where their son/daughter been? Yeah friend's house as usual...
Drugs? Illegal Racing? Whore? Spoiling themselves?
Get pregnant and be another useless Parent?
End up divorcing sooner or later... Comes another different tragedy...
Leaves the child grown up with only a father or a mother?
What will they think when they reach a certain age...
Goes to school... everyone has a pair of parents... while he/she only has 1?
1 day someone will ask... ask about the parents... why? why? why?
Confusion came...
Or even worst case... the child will start without parent...
Guys... Girls... Do you hate your parents?
Probably answer No... we love our parents...
But do you really... Think again about it...
When you go out until late at night... When they nag about it...
Yer aint happy about it... When they care... You dont...
All you want is have fun... Hang out with the guys and girls...
Do what you please... No one cares... Free from your parents...
Mix the wrong friends and things just got from worse to worst...
Make your parents worry... Sick of worry... What if 1 day...
1 of your parents just die? Or maybe both? hehehe...
Do you feel sorry? Regretful? You will change since then?
Hehehe... hahaha...
Maybe not. Work SucksCant you read? Work sucks!
Can i stop working? Can i? Cant i?
Work isnt fair... The boss isnt fair...
Well nothing is fair you fuck head!
A
More knowledge...
More experience...
More work...
More time...
This Salary...
B
Less knowledge...
Less experience...
Less work...
Less time...
This Salary...
B is better of cos?
Why i have to work so hard... With so much time...
While others work less and go back earlier...?
They get to go home around 3... why we have to work until 5.30?
Its not like our salary higher? After they go home we still have 2 customer...
This is getting lame and lame...
This is so damn fair...
They get to go home earlier 8/10
While we get to home earlier 1/10? 2/10?
Calculation please i am kinda suck at counting.
I dont wanna work...
I just wanna live... or die...
But i just dont wanna work...
Any rich girl need a slave? DeathJust watched a movie "Morgue"
It seems to give me some interesting thought and ideas...
About that life that is... hehehe... hahaha!!!
Life and death is interesting... in its own way...
But imagine... half alive... half dead...
Both at one time... its like on the way to hell but meanwhile you are still alive...
Seeing things you shouldnt see... Experiencing things you shouldnt...
Just sounds so interesting...
Been skipping blog lately...
Gotten lazy and lazier...
Well now i am lost again...
No game to play... Nothing to do...
Just sleep... sleep... movies...
Seems like i gotta find something interesting to do...
Like what? I dont know dont ask me yet...
Tell you when i know... Sick sick SICK!Sick again... Sick all the time...
What the hell...
Why am i always sick...
January sick...
Febuary sick...
April sick again...
Whats wrong with me...
Always sick...
What the hell..
Hell the what...
Oh well whatever...
Lazy to write so much...
Sick mood... Qlimax 2008Watched Qlimax 2008 tonight...
It was so superb amazing...
A europe hardstyle event...
Date: 22 November 2008
Location: Gelderome, Arnhem
Anthem: Next Dimensional World
We have... DJ...
Mark Sherry
Showtek
Headhunterz
Project One
D-Block & S-teFan
Technoboy
Tatanka
Zany & Vince
Well got some Pictures below...
                    The DJs:
 Mark Sherry
 Showtek
 Headhunterz
 Project One
 D-Block & S-te-Fan
 Technoboy
 Tatanka
 Zany & Vince
Wish i was there...
Looks so fun ^^
The best music out there...
I guess...
Technoboy - Next Dimensional World
TodayHad enough with those morons...
2 Fucking sore losers...
Guess their CREDIT are more important than Friends...
Game CREDIT!?!? Whoa!!! You piece of shit...
Selfish piece of shit...
Anthony Yun you can go FUCK YOURSELF with your DOTA!
James if you are giving up while playing... FUCK YOURSELF TOO!
Did i talk so much while i Lag? Delay? Spike?
NO I DONT! You 2 piece of fuck face talk so much! Bleh... Mood spoiler... Ass..
...
...
...
Hmm... Today watched the last episode of Gundam 00 season 2...
So nice... Good storyline and action... Better than Gundam Seed...
Really nice... Love it... Ah Gundam 00...
Setsuna F. Seiei - 00
Tieria Erde - Seravee
Allelujah Haptism - Archer Arios
Lockon Stratos - Cherudim
End of Gundam 00 i guess...
But there is a movie coming next year 2010...
Ah!!! So long... Nice anime... I had a dream...I had a dream...
Somehow i dont have the time to write it now...
If i dont update this Entry today or a few days later...
Or if i disappear or you cant find me...
You know what it means...
Hehe ^^
Update:
I am still alive somehow...
Hmm... I think ya all can guess of what i dream of... right?
I died a horrible death as i can see... but i dont know how i die?
Start of the dream i am already dead...
My face looks so horrific... Its like an accident death...
Half of my face... Was like being crush or crash hard...
Hmm... will I die that way someday? Maybe~
Why not? Seems like a fun way to die too!
Painful and ugly... So no one would recognize me~
Lets see if i can i make it out of this week alive. Past HauntsToday i saw a familiar face...
Thought it was her... Looks so familiar...
Sounds like her too... Even the way she talk...
But shes definately not her...
What is this? Reminder of her birthday?
Does it matter anyhow? Its already the opposite path.
Just a coincidence? Maybe...
Sometimes i feel like seeing someone i knew...
But different person... and older than the one i knew...
Am i seeing someone's future? Someone i knew...
Its like seeing someone when they are old...
How they looks like, how they acts like...
Its not the 1st time...
Or am i to see them now cos i wont have the chance to see...
Later in the future...
Was it my punishment? For being a cruel and mad bastard?
Well if it is... I request for more... Let me feel regret...
Regret of how i treat people... It feels like my own ecstacy...
I know i am being a bad guy... A useless friend...
But somehow... Inside me i am laughing...
You know... People cry for reasons...
One which very common, Sad and Hurt...
Another is one is happiness...
But... People can cry for no reasons too...
Comes the future... I believed that i...
I have many punishment for my sins...
My sins... I wonder if i can take it?
I think i will see many familiar face comes future...
Those i hate... I will watch them raise while i am nothing...
Guess those are my payback?
I wont get what i want...
And i will slowly lose what i have 1 by 1...
Somehow... I will live on... Lie!Live a lie! Live a lie!
I can see your dirty face high behind your collar!
What is done is vain... Truth is hard to swallow~
So PRAY!!! To justify the way you live a lie!
Pray to whoever your god is!
Live a lie! Live a Lie!
And you take your time...
And you do your crime...
Well you made your choice...
I made mine!!!
Because when i arrive... I... I'll bring the fire!
To make you come alive! I can take you higher!
Higher to the whole next level!
What this is? Forgot? I shall remind you~
Let it Rock!!! Let it Rock!!! Let it Rock!!!
Now the son's disgraced... He who knew his father...
When he cursed himself he turned EVIL and chased the PAIN!
And he lost his heart so he blames the world!
To the world! To the world!!!
And you take your time...
And you stand in line...
Where you'll get whats yours...
I eventually gonna get MINE!
Because when i arrive... I... I'll bring the PAIN!
To make you remember! How pain feels like!
Pain like no others~ Feel the wrath of PAIN!
What this is? Forgot? I shall remind you~
Let it ROCK! Let it ROCK! Let it ROCK!
Yeah! My world? Rock it!!!
Blood drop and tears drop~
And i am gonna rock till the end~
Till the end!
I am here like... HELL WASSUP?
Screw me and i could FUCK ya up!
I could shred ya up, I could shred ya down~
Just pick a place and I could just take you out!
And my hatred is heavier than the world itself~
Pain rushing through like never ends~
Suffer like sticking needle into your eyeballs!
WooHoo!!!
Because when i arrive... I... I'll bring the end to your pain!
Make you loose yourself... I will bring you down~
Bring you down deep itself feels like being drowning!
I must now remind you... To let... Let it...
Let it ROCK!!! Let it ROCK!!! Let it ROCK!
Just let it rock... let it rock... let it rock...
Dont stop! Dont stop!! Dont stop!!!
Rock! Rock! Rock! Rock! Rock!!!
I wish i could be as cruel as the worst...
And i wish I could say the worst...
But i cant and i wont live a lie...
No... This is the time!
LET IT ROCK! Its been awhile..Its been awhile since i type...
Lifes been a little bit crazy...
Up and down... I dont know...
Pain in the ass i think?
Staying at the new house now... Pretty comfortable compare with old one...
Near to work... back and forth both ways...
Even near to town for better food now...
Unless i wanna head back to the old house there... Guess not?
Been a normal Chinese New Year...
Stay home alone... Online and games thats all...
What i eat...? Pizza Hut Delivery... LoL!
I got no life... See?
Now everyday at home... Play game... and nothing else much...
Dont bother about any other things...
Just live on...
Been pretty lazy... Xtreme lazy...
Dont feel like doing anything at all...
Wish i dont have to work...
Spend less its ok... I can live with it...
Eat less play less... Just sleep...
Keep on sleeping... Sleep eternally?
Not a bad idea i guess...
Recently i started something new...
Which is some account thing...
Write down how much i spend each day...
Whats my income and expenses...
So i know how much i spend each month...
I been wondering lately...
How come i always fell sick?
People asked me the same question...
Am i weak?
Suppose so...
Feel that i am still...
Lack of hate... A question for everyone that visits.I have a question to ask everyone in this world,
Or those who just passby viewing, checking, reading people's blog.
Hope that you will leave your answer as a comment.
The question is...
What will happen if a human suffered too much of stress and depression? hate? being an emo?
Will that shorten my life in anyway? Will i get some health problem like Cancer? Or etc?
Any respond will be appreciated.
Thank you. What for?i @m h0LDinG On YouR Rop3 g0t m3 tenTh f3et oFf tHE gR0uNd...
I aM He@rInG wHAt y0u S@y BuT i JuSt C@nT mak3 a $oUnD...
You TeLL M3 tHaT Y0u n33d Me tH3n YoU GO cuT me DoWN...
but WAIT! yoU t3lL mE th@t y0u'r3 $orrY...
DiDnT thInk i TuRn aRouND & s@yyy ..
Runaway...Today...
I just felt like running away...
Runaway from everything...
Where can i go?
To the place where no one knows me...
Maybe... I dont need it.I dont need a life anymore...
All i have to do is...
Work...
Eat...
Game...
Game...
Game...
Sleep...
Everyday repeating the same routine...
I break my own promise of playing dota...
Who cares?
You got a problem?
Come and tell me about it.
If you just dare.
Life?
Something which is meaningless to me. Now...Now i couldnt even sleep well... Can you read?Even the closest one has stepped on me...
Everyone trying to force me to reach edge and off?
I wont...
I will see all of you die...before i do... I had a dream...Just woke up from a dream...
I dream of...
I died... Hard... Stylez...From today onwards...
Its going to be HardStylez...
My own way of Stylez...
Think HARD...
Go HARD...
And certainly...
Die HARD!!!
Fucking shit going to work without sleeping really kills...
So what? I am still alive anyway...
Hey run away already?
Appear offline?
Invisible List?
What else..?
Let me think for a minute...
Oh yeah Block List?
Ok whatever...
Think i wont have much to write anymore after this one...
Much to go...
Much to do...
Way to go... Around the WorldWent to The Ship last night...
With father, brother and cousin sister...
Had our belated birthday dinner together...
The 3 guys had rare steak... RARE!!!
Can still see the blood inside the steak...
Cousin sister had Black Cod... taste good...
Ordered Mocha Ice Cream Cake and Banana Split for dessert...
And lastly i had a cocktail... Around the World...
Nearly round the world after drinking it, another glass surely...
Very high alcohol contained...
Well lifes back to how it used to be or maybe worst?
Who cares anyway...
Dont think i will be sleeping tonight...
Just hit to work early morning later...
Hope i dont die somewhere later... Losing it...Today when i woke up...
I feels that something is different than before...
Something which is not right...
I feels that i am losing the feeling...
Thought of it for a second...
Does it really matter to me anymore?
Think not...
Without feelings was much better...
With feelings i will just be fool again...
Can i trust people anymore...
Hardly...
Its better that i dont...
Or else i will be lied again...
I should be aware of my own advice...
Sweet talkers should be aware...
Because they arent what they are...
I dont like to promise...
Because i hate to break it...
But there are some...
Who likes to be so promising...
And couldnt keep any it...
What kind of people are they...
Maybe heartbreakers...
Or whats the worst that i can say...
Says that will care about me...
Provide me with friendship and love...
Now dont even dare to online much...
Or maybe appear offline...
Invisible list...
Doesnt even want to talk to me...
Doesnt even want to chat with me...
Doesnt even want to text with me much...
Why appear in the 1st place...
You are just making me...
Suffer...
More and more...
Why cant treat me like how you used to...
Was it so hard...
Tell me...
Do you still care...
Dont have to pretend like you do...
When you dont...
You can even be straight forward with me...
Its not like i will die...
I dont mind even if i do die...
Why are you so cold...
Am i that hot...
Or did the weather sweat you off...
Who wants to accompany me...
When i am bored...
Lonely...
Sad...
I remember i heard that before...
But still now i am all alone...
When i thought about this...
A day was like a week to me...
Even time goes by so slow...
The pain was like so long...
I really want to hate you...
Hate you...
Hate you so bad...
But...
I just couldnt...
Because i still...
Missing you...
Even in vain...
Now...
Just waiting for me return...
Return to my oldself...
Hateful thought...
Without mercy...
Stricter...
And lost my feelings forever...
That would be best for me... The SongsFound out a few song and editted it...
According to what i want to say...
And how i feel...
See... isnt song something so great?
It can tell you many things... Show you many things...
I have 2 chinese songs... Nice one...
Thanks to a good good friend of mine...
But still i dont understand the whole thing...
Try i will...
Baby can you tell me why...
Theres sadness in my eyes?
I dont wanna say goodbye to you...
Love is a dangerous thing...
I should try to forget...
But theres something left in my head...
You're the one who wants to make my life happy...
And you're the one who wants to make it stop...
I am the one whos feeling lost right now...
Now you dont want to care...
But still i miss you...
I wont forget the way you used to treat me...
The feeling so strong... Will last before so long...
Will you even care for me like you used to anymore...
Sitting here all alone at home...
Dont know what to do...
There aint so much to say now between us...
For you and for me...
I am on the bed...
Reading the message you send me...
No one to break the silent...
Thinking about the things we used to do...
All alone but thats alright...
Its the feelings deep inside... I dont like...
There is no excuse my friend...
For breaking my heart... and again...
Will this be where our journey ends or not?
Here in my bed...
Thinking of the promising things she said...
They are fading away... through time...
As time goes by... Things will never be the same...
Now i know that we were closed before...
I am glad that i realised i need you so much more...
I thought that we would just be friends...
Things will never be the same again... Lets see...Comes my birthday... I am stuck at home due to illness...
Thanks to the following who wished me...
Man Tshun called me up at 12am... thanks bro...
Kelvin of CABAL sms me around 7am... thanks man...
Father SMS me and MSN me around 8am... thanks dad i love you...
Koh Siew Moon MSN me around 8am... thanks moon chan...
Goh Poay Mun SMS me around 9am... thanks... but how to describe you?
Gan Kok Khuan SMS me around 11am... thanks mate...
Lastly Wei Loon my work partner... 12am+... thanks bro...
Today i felt that she was different than before...
So i tell her... "You are different than before..."
And asked her... "Did you just make up your mind and decision?" She said... "I scare you like me more so i dowan treat you so good..." Continue... "And i dowan make mistake... hehe"... I dont blame her... She had a bf afterall... Theres nothing else i could do...
I might spoil her life if i tried to take her... And i dont want that...
When we first knew each other... We became so close...
And now all of a sudden... Its like she must stay away from me...
Then for her good... I must stay away from her too...
So i make some changes on my blog for her good...
Dont want her to see... So she wont be worried...
By doing so... i think its the best for her...
Hope i am right... Unless you can PROVE ME WRONG...
Sad isnt it to really like someone under someone's grasp...
But i still do... miss her...
For tonight i had a little conversation... then i cried... Tired of things...I feels like i have a lot to write... a lot to say...
But when the page just opened up waiting for me to write...
I totally dont know what to write... Where to start... Where to end...
But deep inside... there are a lot of things...
Maybe i should relax a bit... and start writing...
Lets see...
I start sick on Thursday... Still have to work on that day...
Or else no one else could take on the task given...
At the end of work... Condition reached quite bad...
Went to clinic and get some medicine then some groceries...
Take medicine and sleep... hope i can cure by saturday night...
Thats all i could do... nothing else...
Friday morning... SMS my boss and told him i am not coming...
Wake up... eat... medicine... sleep... whole body been aching...
Hardly finished 2 movies... i am getting pretty useless... weak...
Comes Saturday which is today... Flu doesnt want to go away...
Seems like i will be alone again on my birthday...
Reminds me that some thing will never change...
What do you call that...? Fate? Destined? Cursed?
Thats your FATE?
Its already DESTINED?
You are CURSED?
Or was it just a coincidence?
I am tired of complaining... I am tired of being jealous...
I am tired of hating...
I am tired of living...
But still i have to live on no matter what...
To see what i become the future holds...
Be honest... i get really jealous when she mentioned about her bf...
But thats something i have to live on with no matter what...
It really feels so sad deep down inside with nothing to cling onto...
But thats something i have to live on with no matter what...
Because of the feelings that i had...
You had a fine bf...
You had a good life...
Shouldn i be happy for you?
Happy i am on one side...
Sad on the other side i am...
Oh dear... i mentioned before didnt i?
There are some things in this world couldnt be avoided...
Not everyone can be happy all the time...
So dont bother about it...
I will be fine somehow... |
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